A Comprehensive Guide to the Protocoll for Walking the Narrow Sidewalks of Tamsweg (first volume, fully revised)

The streets and sidewalks of Tamsweg were not designed with traffic--be it automobile or foot--in mind. This means walking here shouldn't be undertaken under the influence of narcotics, stimulants, true love, or sugar. It is a task that requires one's full attention. Haphazard Tumblr browsing or cloud-gazing are verboten on the bustling streets of this Lungau village.

Admittedly, the streets aren't bustling. But drivers are very much in a hurry, pumping their small cars to high speeds down each short strip of road, only to hit the breaks and round the corners, beginning the process again. Unlike in the US, pedestrians must actually be accountable for where they walk on the act of corporeal locomotion.

In winter, with the snow piling higher, treading the slivers of sidewalk proves a treacherous task. In addition to this, despite the icy trenches and pockmarked mounds now covering the cement, the rules of protocol for walking haven't changed--when walking a narrow pathway and approaching someone who appears elderly or infirm, or anyone of respectable/intimidating demeanor (this of course excludes anyone appearing under the age of 18), the most polite thing to do is to stop, turn, and hug one's entire body up against the building as the person passes by. Going up onto ones tip toes is also an acceptable gesture of extra goodwill and friendly sidewalk fellowship.Umbrellas should be lifted, shop bags pressed awkwardly against the wall, but dogs can move as they please. The path cleared, one may continue on one's way to buy sticks of salami or refillable ink pens, etc. 

Of course, this normal protocol becomes impossible in wintertime: One more often hop and skips over lumps of ice and snow than walks when traveling about the city. In the case of a narrow sidewalk, since a mound of snow now covers the spot where a building-hugging, polite passer-by would stand, this poor soul must gingerly leap over the no-man's-land of the gutter into the street to make way for Oma, who is the VIP of the Tamsweg sidewalk system.

Hopping into the street naturally means hopping into the territory of high-speed vehicles, who, also unlike in the US, luckily seem to pay quite a bit of attention to the actions of pedestrians. Agility and nimbleness are prized qualities of a Tamswegian inhabitant, as after passing or being passed, one must then leap back to the safety of the sidewalk to continue.

This being said, one mustn't forget that all these rules are thrown out in the case of a couple walking together, whereby the two should always walk side by side in an unannounced, but potentially deadly, game of chicken. Beware--the resolve of the Tamswegian couple to walk side by side is challenged at one's own risk.